Current location:	work
Current mood:	accomplished
Current music:	Moby shuffled

I need to post more often.
There are so many things that have transpired in my life that I have not recorded.  Prior to LiveJournal, I recorded my life events in a hand written journal.   Switching to on-line recordings has been more difficult for me to keep updated.  This is rather unfortunate.  I should be better at this. 

I have accomplished so much, and I have been so happy lately.  These things should be written, so that when I am down, I can look back and say, "life isn't so bad." 

My life has been perfect for such a long time, that I forget to take time to reflect and be grateful.  Of course, life isn't without its strange battles. 
I quit smoking in June.  Cold turkey.  The event started about at year ago, when I was ill on my birthday with a horrid flu.  The cough did not go away.  It kept coming back.  I sounded like an 86 yo man when I coughed.  I would cough so hard that I would vomit.  This became quite embarrassing.  I have always veiwed myself as a somewhat healthy, athletic person.  But the way i sounded and my stamina to coughing uncontrollably ratio was unacceptable.  Near the end, around Dark Arts and the Utah Arts Festival, I had to abuse cough suppressants before performances.  There is nothing more unsexy than a scantly clad dancer hacking up a lung on stage.  So, June 22nd, I had my last bummed cigarette before dancing at the Arts Festival. 

I have had to reinvent myself sortof.  My entire adult life had been spent smoking.  Smoking when I was stressed, smoking while drunk, smoking when deeply engaged in a conversation.  I had to learn how to deal with people that I felt were disrespectful to me.  I have revamped my list of people who are important to me.  I no longer feel like I need to sacrifice my self or my time to people that I don't really like, or that I feel don't respect who I am .  I can only do what I can do.  I am not responsible for anyone but myself and my own happiness.  If devoting time to someone was not rewarding, I cut them off. 

I have more time to do what is important to me .  I gained the time that I spent smoking, and the time I spent with unrewarding relationships.  This has given me time to reflect love to Christopher.  I never want to take him for granted.  His love, and his support are so much tied to my happiness. 

The holiday season has come and gone.  I am glad that chaos factory is 11 months away!!  Christopher's brother decided to stay with us while on leave from the Army.  He is stationed in Hawaii, the poor bastard.  So, he arrived at our home on Winter Solistice.  We decided to throw a small gathering A) in his honor, and B) for our friends.  Prior to our gathering, he was harrassing Ursa, our 1.5 yo cat.  She is admittedly a bitch, but he had her pinned in his lap, on her back.  She hissed at him and bit his nose.  He yelled, "You f*cking cat.  If you do that again I will kill you!"  Then he rung his hand around her neck, suspending her in air, shaking her.  Then threw her across the room.  In front of me!!  I was pissed, but contained myself somewhat.  Told him that Ursa is like my child, and he basically did that in front of me to my child.   This is Ursa's house, and she doesn't know you.  So, it should be expected that if you, a stranger,  pin an animal in its most vulnerable position, that she will retalliate.   If that behavior wasn't enough....
at the end of our party.  He threatened to beat up one of Christopher's best friends.  and told Randi that she was posturing with him because her arms were folded.  I was mortified!!!  So all our guests frantically left our home for fear that psycho-Army-drunken- asshole was going to let his fists loose.  Christopher tried to talk to Nick afterwards, but Nick was going to beat up Christopher.  I had a hard time sleeping that night.  I hope that Ursa peed all over his stuff.  

I had to work Christmas eve and UNI was busy.  Tertiary staff were sent home for the "holiday" so I worked short staffed.  AFter a horrible day at work, I had to hurry and pack to drive to Cedar City.  No lunch, no dinner.  We arrived in CC and at 1:00 am, we went to Denny's for food.  I got a veggie omlette.  The next day, I had food poisoning.  The nausea and stomach issues did not go away.  New Years Eve was spent in the Emergency Room getting IV fluids pushed into my body because I was so dehydrated.  Not a good way to loose weight.  They suspect Samonella poisoning, but the lab screwed up, so I did not get a confirmed Dx.

When Nick left, we had discovered he had drank approximately 200 dollars in alcholol, including irreplaceable bottles of wine. 

For the past month, I have been working and dancing.  That is it.  I was on KUED January 10th for a  performance I did for a children's reading marathon.  My gothic BD troupe will be dancing in California in March for the Annual GothLa.  I am also working with Kevin on a Cabaret Burlesque troupe that will be performing in mid-February at Area 51.  It takes me a lot of time and energy to choreograph routines.  So, the second I get home, I go down to my newly renovated basement studio and make up dance sequences.  Eat dinner, and go to bed.  

My resolution this year, is to get my body toned again.  I miss my 6 pack and firm fanny.  :)