life transformations of a brazenhussy

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:46:39 GMT

I need to post more often.

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 18:14:19 GMT

There are so many things that have transpired in my life that I have not recorded. Prior to LiveJournal, I recorded my life events in a hand written journal.   Switching to on-line recordings has been more difficult for me to keep updated. This is rather unfortunate. I should be better at this.

I have accomplished so much, and I have been so happy lately. These things should be written, so that when I am down, I can look back and say, "life isn't so bad."

My life has been perfect for such a long time, that I forget to take time to reflect and be grateful. Of course, life isn't without its strange battles.
I quit smoking in June. Cold turkey. The event started about at year ago, when I was ill on my birthday with a horrid flu. The cough did not go away. It kept coming back. I sounded like an 86 yo man when I coughed. I would cough so hard that I would vomit. This became quite embarrassing. I have always veiwed myself as a somewhat healthy, athletic person. But the way i sounded and my stamina to coughing uncontrollably ratio was unacceptable. Near the end, around Dark Arts and the Utah Arts Festival, I had to abuse cough suppressants before performances. There is nothing more unsexy than a scantly clad dancer hacking up a lung on stage. So, June 22nd, I had my last bummed cigarette before dancing at the Arts Festival.

I have had to reinvent myself sortof. My entire adult life had been spent smoking. Smoking when I was stressed, smoking while drunk, smoking when deeply engaged in a conversation. I had to learn how to deal with people that I felt were disrespectful to me. I have revamped my list of people who are important to me. I no longer feel like I need to sacrifice my self or my time to people that I don't really like, or that I feel don't respect who I am . I can only do what I can do. I am not responsible for anyone but myself and my own happiness. If devoting time to someone was not rewarding, I cut them off.

I have more time to do what is important to me . I gained the time that I spent smoking, and the time I spent with unrewarding relationships. This has given me time to reflect love to Christopher. I never want to take him for granted. His love, and his support are so much tied to my happiness.

The holiday season has come and gone. I am glad that chaos factory is 11 months away!! Christopher's brother decided to stay with us while on leave from the Army. He is stationed in Hawaii, the poor bastard. So, he arrived at our home on Winter Solistice. We decided to throw a small gathering A) in his honor, and B) for our friends. Prior to our gathering, he was harrassing Ursa, our 1.5 yo cat. She is admittedly a bitch, but he had her pinned in his lap, on her back. She hissed at him and bit his nose. He yelled, "You f*cking cat. If you do that again I will kill you!" Then he rung his hand around her neck, suspending her in air, shaking her. Then threw her across the room. In front of me!! I was pissed, but contained myself somewhat. Told him that Ursa is like my child, and he basically did that in front of me to my child.   This is Ursa's house, and she doesn't know you. So, it should be expected that if you, a stranger, pin an animal in its most vulnerable position, that she will retalliate.   If that behavior wasn't enough....
at the end of our party. He threatened to beat up one of Christopher's best friends. and told Randi that she was posturing with him because her arms were folded. I was mortified!!! So all our guests frantically left our home for fear that psycho-Army-drunken- asshole was going to let his fists loose.  Christopher tried to talk to Nick afterwards, but Nick was going to beat up Christopher. I had a hard time sleeping that night. I hope that Ursa peed all over his stuff.

I had to work Christmas eve and UNI was busy. Tertiary staff were sent home for the "holiday" so I worked short staffed. AFter a horrible day at work, I had to hurry and pack to drive to Cedar City. No lunch, no dinner. We arrived in CC and at 1:00 am, we went to Denny's for food. I got a veggie omlette. The next day, I had food poisoning. The nausea and stomach issues did not go away. New Years Eve was spent in the Emergency Room getting IV fluids pushed into my body because I was so dehydrated. Not a good way to loose weight.  They suspect Samonella poisoning, but the lab screwed up, so I did not get a confirmed Dx.

When Nick left, we had discovered he had drank approximately 200 dollars in alcholol, including irreplaceable bottles of wine.

For the past month, I have been working and dancing. That is it. I was on KUED January 10th for a performance I did for a children's reading marathon. My gothic BD troupe will be dancing in California in March for the Annual GothLa.  I am also working with Kevin on a Cabaret Burlesque troupe that will be performing in mid-February at Area 51. It takes me a lot of time and energy to choreograph routines. So, the second I get home, I go down to my newly renovated basement studio and make up dance sequences. Eat dinner, and go to bed.

My resolution this year, is to get my body toned again. I miss my 6 pack and firm fanny. :)

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 23:57:45 GMT

The Text is difficult to read because I made the jpg version of the flier super fast and forgot to watermark it. It reads: Gothic Burlesque Cabaret Dancers
Tryouts December 7th 1:00-5:00p Contact Brazenhussy@hellokitty.com to RSVP and get details.

I also made it smaller here on Livejournal, because the original is HUGE, and I didn't want to take up tons of friend page space. I am not skooled in the ways of putting something behind a link. : (

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 19:26:34 GMT

Put in the word "Halloween" and the year of your birth in Google. Post your favorite photo. :)

Bob Marley, surprisingly also shares my same birthday.

I'm a Lady!!

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 15:31:17 GMT

Which Victorian Stereotype are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

The Lady

71%

A Tramp

58%

The Artiste

54%

The Cad

38%

Help me!!!

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 14:48:05 GMT

I tell people that my husband is a music snob. He is! He only likes what he likes. I can tolerate all types of music but new country. Or so I thought.
My coworker who sits right next to me is listening to the worst music set I have ever fathomed. So far I have listened to the Beach Boys, a bad female vocalist covering Harry Belefonte, Counting Crows, The Monkeys, Neil Diamond. . . .

some of these artists I can handle if in the right mood, and in small doses. I am feeling the urge to kill her ipod. shit, Alabama just came on.

can you hear my pain?

Got back from Reno Wiggles of the West Competition

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 21:27:50 GMT

Woot!!! 3rd place for our Duet!

YouTube video link

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 01:00:42 GMT

www.youtube.com/jeseenya

One of my students posted some videos of my troupe "Delight!" (now DecaDance) at the BD festival. We look amazing! I am so proud. The other soloists are students of mine (either past, or present).

enjoy.Invalid video URL.

Mondays are strange

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 19:17:07 GMT

My life is quite exquisite. Things are going well. My studio is becoming more popular. I think that I may have to create another class, specific to fit certain venues, i.e. Jen M and I are in the "penciling in phase" for DAF, and I am taking 2 groups to competitions in San Fran and Reno. Last night I was working on some choreography for a routine to a Muslimgauze song and I am SORE! I helped my brother, James, move on Saturday so I am sure that was a contributing factor.

I say that my life is going well, but there are a few things that need tweaking. My job is riddled with drama. The nature of my employment is drama, but the coworkers add a very draining aspect on top of the regular job duties. Hopefully this will change soon. Rumor has it that my department is going to be restructured. Last week a member of my friendship circle attempted suicide via overdose. This saddens me, for obvious reasons. This person wasn't transferred to my facility, so I don't know how they are doing right now. I hope better.
The other gripe I have is with my "friends." Christopher is a very social person outside of work. I am not. I spend a lot of my social energy at work and with dance lessons. My history with close friends is bleak. I am a best friend type of person, with lots of aquaintances and semi-close friends. Christopher is the best friend/spouse. Opening up to others takes a certain energy that I really don't feel the need for. Because C is in need of social interaction, I need to learn how to be social in my private sector again. My history is bleak because I tend to attract people who are demanding on my time. I realize that friendships need interaction and dedication to keep them alive. What I really want are friends without liability, friends who don't have drama and need to vent constantly about their problems to me. In my freetime, I like to be physically active, I really don't like to sit around and chit chat. I think that is why when I am with friends in a sitting and talking venue I drink. I need to find some close friends who have a fondness to physical activity, that way we can have real interactions, not drunken ramblings. On that same note, I have a certain closeness to my students. We are active, and we are somewhat friends, but there is a need to keep our relationship Teacher/student oriented. I am trying to run a business.

I went on a shopping spree on Friday unexpectedly. Macy's in the Crossroads mall is liquidating their goods. They still have a good selection so go down there and check it out.

DecaDance

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 04:39:40 GMT

Yeah... its been quite a while since I have updated here.

Last week I went to Cabo with my mother in-law. We left the men home. It was the most interesting and different "vacation" I have yet to have. I am very close to Carol. I have more intimate conversations with her than my own mother. The weather was a comfortable 75 degrees, with whales coming very close to the shoreline. Our resort was fantastic, right on the beach. Carol was invited by a woman she met via her previous "on-line business." Jean is from Ireland but currently lives in Edmonton, Canada. We called ourselves the fuck tarts and had many nick names for one another. Jean was the Queen, but then became the Foghorn because of her loud snoring. Carol was Sally Fields, then became Piddles, because she wet herself in white pants laughing so hard. I was the Princess, then the artsy fartsy Parisian. Jean was mostly overbearing at times. Now I miss her.

I found a studio to rent to teach BD and other types of dance. Classes started February. DecaDance is the name of my troupe.

I turned 34 yesterday.

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 16:56:14 GMT

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 22:39:46 GMT

I just want to go home. That is all I have to say. Work is dull today. I am wearing painful shoes.

Annwvyn's BD solo Utah's Annual BD Festival 2005

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 14:01:09 GMT



"Annwvyn's BD solo Utah's Annual BD Festival 2005" on Google Video
Belly Dance Solo.

Annwvyn's Bat solo DArk Arts Festival 2006

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 01:57:38 GMT



"Annwvyn's Bat solo DArk Arts Festival 2006" on Google Video
Performed at Area 51 for SLC, UT Dark Arts Festival

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 18:18:26 GMT

updated Gothla Flyer

I finished my costume for my solo for this show. It looks like a cross between Leelu (5th element) and a super hero outfit. I cannot decide if I really like it or not, but it matches my vision perfectly. and one should never doubt the initial gutt instinct. hehehe. whatever. I am a little sad that my students are poor and cannot afford the workshop in order to perform with me. I have one gal that is interested, so we will be doing a duet together. something simple and with a routine that we have done before. no stress right. I am planning to dance to ThouShaltNot

in other BD news. I have been asked to start renting the studio instead of teaching for Kismet. In other words, I am on my own now. There are perks and there are pains. I am concerned about the art feeling tainted by adding bills and responsibility to the mixture. I don't dance for money. I cannot put a price on my heart and my creations. This can lead to vulnerability. I need to get a business license and whatever shizel to be legit. *god damn mc hammer song just popped n my head* I will need to pay taxes on my earned income. I will need to keep records. I will need to write off expenses. I will need to look out for myself. I want to have students dance and not have to pay so much money for it. I want to be able to say, "here is 55 bucks for your workshop and dinner fee so you can dance with me at the Gothla" I have anxiety and worry that this will be more work than I am willing put forth. I cannot give it up though. I will miss it if I leave.

and finally. I have replaced my cigarette addiciton to a gummy worm addiction. I got a bad cold 2.5 weeks ago. and basically was too sick to go get more cigarettes. so I haven't had a smoke since tuesday august 29th at 11:00 am

Belly Dance Updates

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 21:41:05 GMT

Gothla Flyer

I will be performing at this event. I am very excited that Tempest is coming to SLC. I would strongly recommend supporting this event by going to the dinner and /or workshop. The Parthenon is a wonderful Greek restaurant, if anyone is curious about the food quality.

In past news, the Belly Dance Festival was a success. I am happy that it is over though. This time last year, I was more depressed about it being over. This year I am not. I am pleased at the photos of me (I am so vain) that have popped up. I made my costume for my solo this year. Ryan took the best one of me in this costume. I was going for this vintage look. Ra took this photo while I was dancing with my troupe, Delight! Sunday night.

K.... that is the brief update.

Monday-ness

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 19:18:20 GMT

Had a baby shower for my sister in law, Aleisha on Saturday. she had me invite 84 ppl, no one RSVP'd, and 22 ppl showed up. Overall, it was a good event. I am just happy it is over with.

Now, it is the time to prepare for the Belly Dance Festival. I am freaking out a little over my solo. I want a vintage looking costume. I purchased some fabric last night and need to sew it up quickly. My solo is Friday the 18th at 8:30 ish. I am doing a slow controlled dance, and a drum bit at the end. I want to depress everyone in the audience to tears!!

My gothic fusion girls, "Adya Shanti" are dancing Saturday the 19th at 6:20pm and my Master students,"Delight!" are dancing Sunday the 20th aroudn 7pm. I will be dancing with my girls again this year. I need to get my costumes ready for these performances as well.

I have a doctor appt tomorrow, seems my bum hip is acting up again. Last week I was limping and thought that I should really buy a cane. it sucks to get old.

http://www.kismetdance.com/belly-dance-festival/2006/performance-schedule.htm

there are a lot of great dancers and performances going on this year. I am very excited for it.

Me as an animated character.

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 23:12:46 GMT

The Mid-Summer Renaissance Faire

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 23:00:56 GMT

photo taken at the Cedar City Mid-Summer Renaissance Faire this past weekend.
It was a hot weekend, but it is always a blast. I like that someone captured this moment on film, see the sword on my head, and I am either going into a back bend or coming out of it.
I got these really cool pants, that are very very wide and have leaf coins at the bottom of the legs.

A ren faire newspaper article http://thespectrum.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060714/NEWS01/607140303/1002

Romantic Entry

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 23:56:31 GMT

Today is the 3rd year anniversary of Christopher and I being together. Initially we met a month prior at Santuary's May Fetish night. I went with bunny suit clad Andrew. C and I met on the dance floor. and I remember thinking to myself that he was cute AND a good dancer. I was wearing a red chinese print summer dress, and I curled my hair. Then we spoke to each other at the pre-dark arts festivities. Unfortunately I was broke at the time and was not able to attend that year... *insert sad face for missing David J and ThouShaltNot*
Then, one obscure Thursday night we meet again. I was with Andrew and Mary that night, they had picked me up after work. I was sitting up on the high rise area overlooking the dance floor and drinking my molotov cocktail when he came running in. He sat across the way, and was with another girl. Our eyes met, and he came over and sat next to me. We talked all night pretty much, and danced as if we were the only ones on the dance floor. Funny, that night I also spoke to Jayme (sp?) for the first time, I had had a crush on him too. That night, I ended up asking Christopher for a ride home.
The story goes on of course, but that is how it all started.

We tell lay folk that we met at a church dance.

Burning the candle from both ends.

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 20:18:05 GMT

I am very run down today. I've been fighting a stupid cold since Thursday. My Belly Dance life is sucking my energy with big shows every weekend this month. This weekend is the Dark Arts Fest, the following weekend is a recital/halfa at the Parthenon, and the last weekend is the Arts festival. I should be having fun with all of this, and part of me is, but the other part wants to throw up her hands and run away. This year, at Dark Arts my troupe will be performing at 7:40. This leads to its own perfect stressor, because I am in the fashion show flaunting corsets and tutus by Jen McGrew of Salt Lake Tightlacer. The fashion show is at 7-7:45 pm (or so I've been told). How will I be able to make a huge costume change, and have my slaves move the riser in negative 5 minutes? 8 girls will be performing a routine that involves major floor work, so moving the riser is mandatory. and I certainly cannot belly dance in a full corset. I am hopeful that I can trade times with someone, or we can move the performance time 15 minutes later. I am fast, but not that fast. Another stressor involves my 3 min solo embedded within the troupes performance, I still need to make a small bit of costumage, and figure out the general routine. It is artsy fartsy dramatic dance to NIN's "A WArm Place." I just need to solidfy the moves I want to do.
The recital/hafla is on Saturday the 17th. I am not worried about this.
The Utah ARts Festival is just a pain in my ass. It is probably the most important show aside from the Belly Dance Fest, but it is every day Thurs-Sun. It is hot, outside, and I just don't like doing it.
Last weekend was nutso, I had a 4 yo and a 5 yo staying with us. I bet Aunt Julia's house is a mystical place for them, they were all over, trying on BD costumes, getting into my trinkets, and stuff. C passed a 5mm kidney stone, and we had a family BBQ of 15 ppl on Saturday. I just want to go to sleep for a while.

that is my rant.

silliness

Tue, 30 May 2006 23:50:27 GMT

You scored as Perky Goff. You are a perky goff! You like cute things, glitter, and scary carnivals. You think that the contrast between playful innocence and dark corruption is tantalizing, which is why you like to dress up like an evil dollie.

</td>

Perky Goff

92%

Ethereal Goth

75%

Cyber-goth

75%

Romantic Goth

71%

Industrial/Rivet-Head

71%

Old-school Goth

67%

Anything-Goes Goth

67%

Fantasy Goth

67%

Death Rocker

63%

Understanding Outsider

17%

Confused Outsider

What subcategory of Goth best fits you?
created with QuizFarm.com

a poem found by one of my students

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 18:25:14 GMT

Annwvyn
By Anonymous

Dancing silently through life
Dark eyes filled with everything
Everything in dreams, in hearts
Gracefully sighing with the wind

Arms outstretched, legs twisting and turning
Hands like a precious flower, being silently moved by the brezes
Smile small and coy, hidden in the depth of the eyes
Life springs through, and heart leaps forwards

The music flowing through you, with you
The movement calling you, holding you
The dance overcoming you, pulling you
Her smile so inviting, her eyes so daring

The dance comes to an end,
Silently she bows, before leaving the stage she knows so well
Her heart stays true, the magic in the song still in her eyes
Her smile changes, and she looks away, but her heart still holds
strong and true

This is Annwvyn
Her heart, her soul, herself
Her beauty, her grace, her kindness
Annwvyn, the dancer of life

welcome~

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 17:05:32 GMT

Hello.... please welcome and befriend my extremely handsome and talented husband retsil to livejournal!!!!

apathy-meh

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 19:02:28 GMT

I have a lot to say, but really no energy to give it words.
I suppose extreme happiness for ~3 years has to have a glich sometime down the road. I got the plague that everyone at my work had and it only lastest 3 days for me. However, on February 25 I got the worst UTI I have ever had. For a month, it lasted as I self medicated with OTC Rx and pure cranberry juice. Last Thursday I finally went to the doctor for the yearly woo-check and address the chilling pain. I had to go to HCI for a CT scan r/o bladder cancer and kidney stones---> negative. Now I am on a cipro regimen and it makes me feel like I have the flu.
lately everything annoys me. I don't feel I have to nice and pretend to like people, I have given myself permission to just treat others the way they deserve to be. i.e. I told one of my old best friends that I don't have the energy for her anymore. This month has a need to reinvent myself.